I will not make hasty decisions about existing relationships during the NRE/Limerence period that could have been affected. As a general rule, I define that as a six-month delay. Finally, I don`t care what you do or how you do it. It`s your choice. What matters to me is the awareness and intent that you have in your life and in your relationships. Because relationships are custom commands. All relationships — and especially polylove, because relational systems can become quite complicated when more people enter the picture. Finally, if you are in a polyamorous relationship because your partner wants it (and you don`t really want it), please be honest with yourself and with your partner. You don`t need to be, do or tolerate what you don`t want. There is an edge (and a learning curve) to this lifestyle.
The edge can bring a lot of emotional baggage for some. It is a common experience for those who have a way of life. It is normal to embrace and move emotional turbulence when it awaits them. It doesn`t matter if you say no thanks. It`s normal to say, «Yes, I`m interested, and I`m willing to learn to do it in a way that makes me feel good as well.» I do not feel that an absolute veto is healthy, and that is a hard line for me. I will take into consideration all the objections when it comes to a new partner, but a veto would only create resentment. Similarly, I expect my partners to take into account any objections I have to other partners, and I have the right to end a relationship if I think metamours have a negative impact on my relationship. Nor am I going to engage in a relationship where I know I could veto it. We understand that not all of these relationship agreements cover and we can enter into oral agreements in addition to these broad outlines. Dyadian relations may negotiate additional agreements and/or specific (temporary) short-term agreements beyond those mentioned here.
Instead, our agreements are oriented towards transparency. The sooner I know everything, the better. Whether it`s a new partner, an appointment or an excursion you want to continue with me, a new event or activity that concerns me, or a new level of relationship. I don`t need to be allowed to get noticed. I don`t stay in a relationship with someone who is insulting or hurting my consent. Seth and I renegotiated our agreement several times because we were both new to Polyamory and we weren`t quite sure how something was going to happen until we actually held on. Indeed, the persistence in clinging to a rule that made sense when it was written, but which has not been undone in practice, can prove terribly proven. Every relationship requires honesty, trust, respect and open communication. I`m going to practice all of this.
Once you`ve turned to all of this, you`ll have some clarity about the wishes you have for your own relationship. You`ll also find out if there are some things you need to negotiate or if compatibility may be lacking (yes, super scary, but trust me – realize that you`re not compatible after years of testing, it`s no better!) Pingback: How to negotiate relationship agreements for Polyamory! Kamala Devi «Oh yes, she has some trust issues from a previous relationship,» Rob said, «But we`re very much on the same side in terms of rules.» All partners are on an equal footing and enter into these agreements with informed consent. Each individual is responsible for making their own decisions and takes into account the impact of their choices on those they love. This is where we put everything together. Here you ask clear questions and receive clear answers. Here you record (and reseed) what is correct and what is not correct. Keep in mind that this can change from one situation to another. The idea is to have something in place that gives everyone the freedom to follow their desires in a way that supports their relationships. Here are some examples: No relationship treatment after 9:30If someone is angry, ask him if 1) they want a hug, 2) take a seat or